Lent - Day 2 - Repent, and Repent Some More

 "Repent and believe the Gospel."

I'm carrying these words through Lent as a touchstone to keep my heart attuned to God's will and purpose. And it has had quite the impact already. Throughout the day, as I noticed myself drifting towards unproductive behaviors, I heard the word:

"Repent!"

Was I doing something wrong? Or was I about to? Not necessarily. But as one pastor/friend shared with me years ago, "The enemy of the better is the good."

And so I repented, or turned away from that which I was about to do or was doing. Consciously choosing to do something other than making the same mindless choices in the normal rhythm of the day reminds me that I have a higher calling, a greater purpose. And that purpose can only be fulfilled deliberately with each choice I make, and even choosing to make choices. One day the choices I make will be automatically in line with God's purpose for me.

Until then, I'll be repenting a lot.

Lent - Day 1 - Repent and Believe the Gospel

This morning's reading was from Joel 2:

The Lord thunders
    at the head of his army;
his forces are beyond number,
    and mighty is the army that obeys his command.
The day of the Lord is great;
    it is dreadful.
    Who can endure it?
“Even now,” declares the Lord,
    “return to me with all your heart,
    with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
Rend your heart
    and not your garments.
Return to the Lord your God,
    for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
    and he relents from sending calamity.
Who knows? He may turn and relent
    and leave behind a blessing—
grain offerings and drink offerings
    for the Lord your God.

I went to the church this morning for Ash Wednesday. I sat down in the pew and looked up at the large crucifix at the front. My eyes were locked on it for about 10 minutes as I pondered this physical representation of the most profound moment in human history:

• Jesus Christ, the creator being killed by his creatures.
• Jesus Christ, author of life, accepting to die.
• Jesus Christ, sinlessness embodied accepting my sin and all sin to be placed on his account making me not guilty.

The priest then began the service by reading the same passage from Joel 2 that we had read earlier that morning. When the Spirit of God speaks twice, better pay attention. And as it came time to come forward to receive the ashes, the priest and deaconess repeated the same five words to each penitent in line.

"Repent, and believe the Gospel."

"Repent, and believe the Gospel."

And as I bowed my head and received the ashes, the deaconess repeated those words to me.

"Repent, and believe the Gospel."

Quietly, I returned to my pew and pondered the challenge.

"Repent, and believe the Gospel."

Repent - to make a U-turn away from sinful living and selfish desire, and toward a wholehearted pursuit of Jesus. But how can I do this? Am I good enough?

Believe the Gospel - the Good News that I don't have to be "good enough" because when Jesus died, God placed on Him the punishment that was rightfully mine because of my sinfulness. In that singular moment, Jesus achieved for all of us what no one of us could do for ourselves: A right standing before God.

To believe the Gospel is to accept by faith that Jesus' death is the only way for me to come back into the relationship God intended for me to enjoy with Himself, the relationship first seen in the Garden of Eden when God and man spoke with one another and no barrier existed between the two.

This Lenten season, it is my hope and prayer that I will fully embrace repentance and truly believe the Gospel, and that my actions would speak louder than these words. 

24 Hours in the Life of Khalaf - 3 April 2011

It's been a good few weeks. Two weeks' rest at home was followed by a quick 3-day trip to Tampa, Florida, a 5-day trip to Fort Wayne, Indiana and a 5-day trip last week to Tulsa, Oklahoma. This week I'm in Minneapolis, MN for the first time in 6 weeks. It's good to be back, especially considering what it took to get here:


4/2/2011
10:00pm - Finished cleaning up from Juju's birthday party. Tucked everyone in for the night. Fired up my laptop and printed my boarding passes. The best price for this trip was a Southwest flight to Chicago and a Delta flight onward to Minneapolis. Checked CNN for any late-breaking news. Found out about Southwest 812 losing part of the fuselage in-flight. Hmmm....


4/3/2011
7:00am - Woke up after sleeping in. Had a leisurely breakfast with the family. Got ready to go to visit a church - classmate is being installed as a Senior Pastor.


9:30am - Receive an email from Southwest Airlines informing me that my flight to Chicago has been cancelled. I am invited to rebook my flight online.


9:35am - Check flight availability online - no flights available on Southwest. Check other carriers - it will cost $500-900 or more to get to Minneapolis. Options are limited, so is my patience.


10:20am - Head out the door for church. Call Southwest and stay on hold for the entire 40-minute drive to church.


11:00am - Hang up the phone. Enter the church. Felt blessed and welcomed to be there. Decide during church that there's only one way to get to work on time.


12:30pm - Leave church and head home to drop off the family. 


1:30pm - Grabbed the lunch my dear wife packed for me and head out the door. I'm driving to Chicago to catch a flight. Plane leaves at 7:25pm Central. Plenty of time.


2:30pm - Pass through Jackson, MI.


3:30pm - Still driving...


4:40pm - Stop for gas in Indiana (Exit 19). Grabbed a can of Starbucks' Double Shot and a 32-ounce Diet Mountain Dew. The chemicals should keep me perky until I...


4:30pm (CDT) - Arrive in front of my friend's house in Chicago. He lives 4 miles from Midway and has graciously offered to park my car for the week. Knowing he isn't home I decide to leave the keys in his mailbox and catch a bus to the airport. Walking up to the house his brother comes out. We greet each other and he gives me a ride to the airport. Timing couldn't have been better - one minute later and he'd have been long gone.


5:15pm - Cleared security at MDW. Waiting for the airplane. Sit down and get some reading and writing done.


7:25pm - Board the flight to MSP. Another comfortable, uneventful flight.


9:00pm - Deplane at MSP. Walked to the Blue Chip counter and picked up a rental car with only ten (10) miles on it. Nice.


9:30pm - Arrive at the hotel. The clerk remembers me still and has me set up in my favorite part of the hotel - far away from the elevators and noise.


10:00pm - In bed, and ready for another week of work.

Royal Oak, MI - A Profile in Courage and Sportsmanship

It's been a while since I posted my whereabouts. Since the beginning of the year I have been to Minneapolis and back six times. Last week I was in Ohio for a change. Sadly, I didn't venture beyond the hotel. Maybe it was the ice storm that first night that left a 1/2 inch layer of ice all over the car that I had to chip through Monday morning. I'm sure there were some neat things to see there; if I go back in better weather, I'll write about them.

But this week finds me home doing things around the house - unclogging drains, getting cars running, cleaning the house, etc. One of the perks of being home is the opportunity to spend more time with our beautiful children - taking them to and from school, talking around the house. So far it has been a fantastic week.

Yesterday, Benjamin had a wrestling meet in Royal Oak, Michigan - about a 20-minute drive from the house. So after school I grabbed the video camera and headed over to the gymnasium. Once in the gym I found Benjamin and said "Hi" to him. I noticed he already had some absorbing material crammed up his nose. Come to find out that he got a nosebleed during warmups. No big deal, I thought; the bleeding will stop and he'll do fine.

This year Benjamin is wrestling the heavyweight class which, in middle school, is over 200 pounds. As he stepped out onto the mat for his match I noticed that while Benjamin was taller, his opponent was heavier. I wasn't worried; when we wrestled at home I learned that Benjamin could handle larger bodies.

As the match got underway it was clear that Benjamin's opponent was every bit as strong as him, but with a lower center of gravity. As the two went for the same throw at the same time, that lower center of gravity paid off and Benjamin was under. But Benjamin escaped and tried to work back for another throw.

Suddenly Benjamin motioned to the referee, who blew his whistle. Apparently Benjamin's nose started bleeding again, and it needed to be stopped. So in the nose went more absorbing material while both wrestlers and the mat were cleaned up. I wish that were the only stoppage, but his nose bled twice more. Each time involved more wipedowns and more material up Benjamin's nose. By the end of the second period Benjamin was pretty winded partly due to his inability to breathe clearly through his nose.

Benjamin took a big breath and started the third period in the bottom position and behind in points, 5-3. A few seconds later the referee awarded Benjamin a penalty point as his opponent had an illegal hand lock. The restart saw Benjamin again on the bottom position getting pummeled into the mat. But with a burst of energy he stood up and worked his opponents wrists to free himself with 40 seconds to go, tying the score at 5-5. Both boys knew that the next takedown would decide the match. And with about seven seconds to go they once again locked up, each looking for a winning head-and-arm throw.

As Benjamin gave one last heave his opponent lost his balance and fell on the inside of Benjamin's leg, twisting his knee and ankle. Immediately Benjamin screamed in pain and the referee blew the whistle. For about five minutes Benjamin lay there while his coach came out onto the mat and looked him over. Eventually getting back up on his good leg Benjamin was helped off the mat and back to his chair. Unable to continue, Benjamin was disqualified.

I couldn't have been more proud of my son and his valiant effort. I rushed down from the stands to his side. There, with the blood streaming from his nose and dripping from his chin he was on the verge of tears. I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him and how much I loved him. He gave it his all, and was on the verge of winning the most dramatic match of the meet. (Yes I am biased, but it was that good.)

But what followed was even more remarkable.

As I was looking to get change for the vending machine, one of the Royal Oak teachers offered me a water bottle for Benjamin from his office. Another Royal Oak trainer asked whether we needed another ice pad for Benjamin's knee. And as I was walking back I went over to Benjamin's opponent and congratulated him on a well-fought match. His response? "I'm sorry for hurting him - I hope he's OK." And at the end of the meet, with Benjamin still seated, every member of the Royal Oak Middle School wrestling team - coaches, trainers and wrestlers - walked all the way over to shake Benjamin's hand and wish him well. Their heavyweights, including Benjamin's opponent, lingered for a few minutes to chat with him and talk about the County meet in less than three weeks. And as I went to bring the car around to the near side of the gymnasium that same teacher made sure that Benjamin had a chair to sit on by the door.

I've been around school athletics for a while. What I've learned is that the students often reflect the attitudes of their coaches. Some teams come off as arrogant or rude. Others come across as mean-spirited or angry. And then there are groups like the wrestling team at Royal Oak Middle School. From the head coach who I talked with briefly to the wrestlers on the team, they were a classy and genuine bunch who let their wrestling do the talking.

And like Benjamin said, "I'll see them again at the County meet. I can't wait."

Me neither.

Signs That I've Gone Native

I'm nearing the end of my fourth straight week in Minnesota. As faithful readers of this blog know, I have spent a lot of time up here in the Land of 10,000 Lakes (a.k.a. Land of 10,000 Hockey Ponds). When I spend so much time in one place I develop feelings of ownership for it as if I have become one of the natives who lives there. Here are some signs that I've "gone native" here in Minnesota:

• I give directions to people trying to get places.
• The front desk staff at the hotel recognizes me by name.
• I avoid freeway traffic by taking side streets.
• My speech is dotted with "Eh" and "You betcha!"
• I take the shortcut out of the parking structure at the airport.
• The guy at the gelato stand at the Mall of America knows my preferences. ("Mocha flavors, right?" http://www.paciugo.com)
• I know who Ole and Lina are.
• Weather is a big topic of conversation, but the cold weather doesn't really bother me.
• I have used the word "spendy" correctly in a sentence without trying.

I'll be home in sunny, warm Michigan next week. Yes, I know - it was only 9 degrees this morning in Detroit. Take a look at the temperature from my car dashboard this morning:


Yup, that's -15 degrees Fahrenheit, or -26 degrees Celsius. In case you're wondering, it is actually warmer in Anchorage, Alaska.

Can't wait to get home.

24 Hours in the Life of Khalaf (Extended Edition) - 30 December 2010 - 1 January 2011

After teaching a 2-day class in Fergus Falls, MN I head for home. To get to Fergus I flew into Fargo, ND on the 28th as it was closer than Minneapolis. By flying out of Flint, MI I managed to save $400 on airfare. But getting home has proven to be the bigger adventure thanks to a winter storm in the plains that made the news due to a 100-car pileup on I-94 west of Fargo.

12/30/2010

4:00pm - Left Fergus Falls, MN for home. Bad weather expected all throughout. Decided to drive to Fargo, ND (65 miles) through falling snow instead of Minneapolis, MN (195 miles) through snow and freezing rain.

4:30pm - Visibility on I-94 reduced to 1/2 mile due to drifting and blowing snow. Going about 40mph behind a Minnesota State Trooper.

4:45pm - I pass the State Trooper and pick up my speed to 60mph. I've settled in now, but in the back of my mind I don't like the driving conditions that much. I already know that I-94 is closed west of Fargo; just a matter of time before they close it east of Fargo as well.

5:15pm - I've been on the road for over an hour and I've only covered 35 miles on an Interstate highway. Visibility is down to zero. Let me explain zero visibility. It is dusk, so sunlight is scarce. It is overcast, with falling and blowing snow. That means everything outside is the same bluish-gray except for the red tail lights of the vehicle in front of me and the pavement under it whenever snow isn't drifting across it. As long as I stay behind the red lights and between the lines on the road whenever I can see them I should be fine. Top speed at this point: 15 mph with the occasional burst to 20.

5:45pm - Finally arrive in Fargo. Got off the freeway because I'm at my exit and because the "Road Closed" barrier is swung across the freeway. I can't see the hotel, and drive a half-mile too far. Made a U-turn and barely see the hotel sign through the snow. Pulled into the gas station to fill up the rental vehicle and to buy some food for dinner; no restaurants are open. Walking into the convenience store to pay for my gas I noticed that the ground is covered in an inch of ice. Not good. Get back to my car and go out the side driveway to the hotel. Bad move. That driveway wasn't plowed and now I'm stuck in snow.

6:00pm - After rocking the vehicle for 15 minutes, three teenagers walk up and offer to push me out. They can't.

6:10pm - I walk across the street and check into my hotel room, leaving the vehicle running. I then ask for a shovel and head back to the car and start digging. The temperature is 4 degrees Fahrenheit with a windchill of -22. Another man pulls up and helps to free my wheels. He then pushes me and I'm unstuck, but still not in the clear. Another 10 minutes of carefully rocking the vehicle up the driveway and I can now turn it around, go out the main entrance of the gas station and around to the hotel.

6:35pm - I drop my stuff in the hotel room and head down for the Manager's Reception, catered by Famous Dave's. Nice touch. It's a bit crowded; I suppose many of the folks here tonight were forced to alter their travel plans when I-94 was closed west of Fargo. I now find out that I-94 has also been closed east of Fargo all the way to Alexandria, MN (60 miles past Fergus Falls).

7:00pm - Back in the room I change and repack the suitcase. A quick check of my flight itinerary shows that the 7:05am flight has been pushed back to 7:45am. I call Delta and they tell me that the Airbus is on the ground in Fargo. As long as we can take off in the morning before the next storm hits (scheduled for 3pm 12/31) I'll be good.

12/31/2010

5:00am - Alarm clock goes off.

5:10am - I get out of bed, get dressed and pack up. I check one more time with the airline and find out that the 7:05am flight has been CANCELLED. Next earliest flight they can get me out is Sunday afternoon. Not good; I ask about alternatives. They confirm a seat on a flight from Grand Forks at 11:00am. That's only 80 miles away, but the interstates are all closed. I look at a map and find an old US Route that could get me there. But with the road conditions, 25mph winds and drifting snow I'm not sure I can. I call back and they get me a seat on the 11:00am flight from Fargo.

6:30am - After breakfast I head out to the car. Irony - while the path to my vehicle is clear, there are snowdrifts in the driveway blocking either exit. I wait and watch in amazement as snow removal vehicles show up and begin moving the snow out of the way. Soon I'm on my way to the airport.

8:15am - I arrive at the airport and turn in the vehicle. I go to the ticket counter and find a line of standby passengers from earlier flights waiting to be helped by the only Delta employee who made it in - a baggage handler. (Note: In the smaller airports it is not uncommon for airline employees to be trained to cover multiple tasks.) He was able to print two of my three boarding passes. The one that didn't print? Yup, the Fargo-Minneapolis leg. He assured me that when his supervisor got in she would be able to do it.

11:15am - Boarding pass in hand I walk down the jetbridge to board the first flight to Minneapolis. If I can get out of Fargo before the second blizzard hits, I should be able to get home in time.

12:30pm - In Minneapolis, waiting for the 3:20pm flight to Detroit. I should get in at 6:00pm to make the 7:30pm flight to Flint. There have been lots of families with kids and kids without parents travelling today. It's been fun to watch the nervous looks from parents who see me wearing a suit. I assure them that I've travelled with three kids of my own. As soon as I say that they relax a bit and let their guard down.

3:30pm - In the plane, heading over to the deicing pad. I fall asleep.

5:00pm - I wake up to find that we are still on the deicing pad. Apparently there was some ice found inside the engine and they wanted to get a closer look at it before clearing the plane for takeoff. Wow.

7:25pm - Landing in Detroit, I run to the next flight only to watch as the jetbridge is pulled back. No gate agent at the counter and the door is closed. I have officially missed the last flight to Flint.

7:45pm - I head over to the SkyClub and share the events of the last two days with the Customer Service Agent. She immediately swings into action and secures vouchers for meals and two taxi rides - one to get me home and another to bring me back to the airport in the morning. I head down to the taxi stand and get a ride home.

9:00pm - Home, finally. Time to party with the family!

1/1/2011

12:00am - Happy New Year!

12:01am - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

6:00am - Alarm clock goes off. I wake up, get dressed and have Basma drop me off at the airport. I skipped the free cab ride to spend some time with my wife.

8:00am - Cleared security; used the meal vouchers to buy 6 croissants from Brioche Doree. The family is going to have a special New Year's breakfast!

9:45am - Landed in Flint; picked up the car.

10:40am - Arrived home. Finally.

Anchorage - Day 7 - Epilogue

The flights home were relatively uneventful. Exit row seating gave my legs a place to stretch. I didn't get much sleep on the Anchorage-Salt Lake flight, and I used the Salt Lake-Detroit leg to fill out my paperwork for the week. Arriving at Detroit at 2:05pm Saturday, I headed over to the Starbucks for my first coffee in well over a week. My lovely wife picked me up a few minutes later and we enjoyed the ride home.

I can't wait to go back to Alaska. In fact, I think that's where we'll go for a family vacation this summer. Then I'll finally get to see the "other" Alaska - green everywhere and sunlight forever.